How to Work with Complicated People:
Leadership Lessons with Ryan Leak
In leadership and the marketplace, one challenge is guaranteed: you will encounter complicated people. Whether it’s a difficult boss, a challenging coworker, or a customer with unrealistic expectations, dealing with people is part of the job. The question isn’t if you’ll face complicated relationships—it’s how you’ll handle them.
In a recent episode of Leadership Lifter, Pastor David Blunt sat down with Ryan Leak, a bestselling author, executive coach, and motivational speaker, to discuss his latest book, How to Work with Complicated People. Ryan shared four key strategies for navigating difficult relationships, offering practical wisdom for leaders and professionals alike.
The 4 Ways to Deal with Complicated People
Ryan explained that when dealing with challenging individuals, we typically resort to one of four approaches:
1. Ignore Them
Many people try to avoid difficult individuals, hoping the problem will resolve itself. But as Ryan pointed out, complicated people are unavoidable. No matter where you go, there will always be personalities that challenge you. Avoidance is a temporary solution that leads to deeper frustration.
2. Try to Change Them
It’s tempting to believe that if others just thought, worked, or communicated like we do, everything would be easier. However, forcing change on someone often results in resistance. True leadership isn’t about making others conform to us—it’s about understanding and adapting to different personalities.
3. Cancel Them
Cutting people out has become a popular response in today’s culture. While setting boundaries is sometimes necessary, Ryan warns against making cancellation our default strategy. Growth happens when we learn to work through differences rather than eliminate people from our lives.
4. Move Toward Understanding
The best option, according to Ryan, is to seek understanding. Every person has a backstory, experiences, and perspectives that shape their behavior. By taking the time to understand someone’s background and communication style, we create a culture where people feel valued and engaged. This is what sets great leaders apart.
Pre-Decisions: The Key to Leadership Success
One of the most impactful takeaways from this conversation was Ryan’s concept of pre-decisions—deciding in advance the kind of person you will be, no matter the situation.
For example:
Instead of wondering if you should be generous, pre-decide that you will be.
Instead of debating if you should forgive, pre-decide that forgiveness is your lifestyle.
Instead of questioning if you should be a hard worker, pre-decide that excellence is your standard.
When we pre-decide, we remove inconsistency from our leadership and gain clarity in our choices. Leaders who make pre-decisions lead with confidence, integrity, and purpose.
Your Promotion Comes from God, Not People
Many professionals feel stuck in their jobs because of difficult bosses or workplace conflicts. Ryan reminded us that God, not your supervisor, is in control of your promotion. When you work with excellence, regardless of the environment, you position yourself for growth.
“You should be as faithful as you possibly can be in that position,” Ryan said. “Because that supervisor is not actually your supervisor—God is.”
This perspective shifts how we handle workplace challenges. Instead of focusing on the difficult person in front of us, we trust that God sees our faithfulness and will open doors at the right time.
Final Thoughts
If you want to grow as a leader and thrive in the marketplace, mastering relationships is essential. Instead of avoiding difficult people, challenge yourself to understand them. Instead of reacting emotionally, pre-decide the kind of leader you will be.
Ryan’s insights remind us that leadership is not about controlling others—it’s about stewarding our influence wisely. Whether you’re leading a team, managing clients, or simply navigating daily interactions, you have the power to create a culture where people thrive.
What pre-decisions will you make today to become the leader God has called you to be?
Listen to the full conversation with Ryan Leak on the Leadership Lifter Podcast.
Listen Leadership Lifter Podcast on YouTube or on davidblunt.org